lol

dead baby jokes!?!! huzzah!!!

what's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
you can't move the bowling balls with a pitchfork.


why do you put a baby in a blender feet-first?
to watch the expression on its face change.


what's red and silver and runs into walls?
a baby with a fork in its eye.


what's blue and sits in the corner?
a dead baby in a bag.


what's green and sits in the corner?
same baby three months later.

Lets try and steer the thread in a bit less disturbing direction, mmkay?

THAT will knock people for a loop!

How to catch a bear...

You walk out into the woods where you know that there will be hungry bears about.

Dig a large hole and fill it with ashes.

Once you have the hole full of ashes, surround it with peas.

When a bear comes around to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

 

le'sigh, i figured the baby jokes wouldn't fly. props on the pilot joke, themocaw, i've heard that one before and it's a great one.

unfortunately most of my jokes are offensive to some group or just so totally vulgar that i shouldn't put them in here.



one of my sociology profs pulled off an elaborate no soap radio joke in a lecture. he had the TAs tell half of their discussion sections (half the students) about the set up, so all the TAs and half of the 200ish person lecture lagued at "no soap, radio!"

unfortunately it didn't work quite as well as he'd have liked. out of the other half of the class, only a fraction of them were actually paying attention.