The Lesbian Alcoholic Womanizing Pirate Queen (LAWPQ)
Well-endowed, with a legion of salty, sultry shipmates by her side.

Seduce-(Active) In a drunken stupor, the LAWPQ bears everything for all to see, 50% chance for enemy units with LAWPQ in their line of sight to switch to the LAWPQ's control, 10% chance for demigods to come under her control for 30 seconds. 75% chance for Queen of Thorns. This skill is easily interruptible.

Bitchslap-(Active) The LAWPQ violently strikes a foe with her hand, stunning and greatly damaging the enemy

Catfight-(Passive) when attacking a female demigod or unit, that unit and has a chance to engage in a catfight with the LAWPQ. Catfighting units cannot be damaged by anyone or anything outside of the catfight. Also, points in this skill cause Bitchslap to deal 50% more damage to female enemies, and also gives a 2x greater chance of triggering a catfight.(triggers on hit) All attacks during a catfight have a 2x chance of causing a pillowfight.
Bitchslapping during a catfight gives a 5x greater chance of causing a Pillowfight.

Pillowfight(Passive)-gives the LAWPQ a chance to begin a Pillowfight with an enemy female unit, Pillowfights cause all units within a large radius to stop and...admire the intense brawl, the same rules apply as a catfight, except pillowfights force the use of a 1-1 damage pillow and exaggerated physics. Casting Seduce or Bitchslap during a catfight nulls the skills effects but grants a greater chance to begin a pillowfight.
Successfully casting Seduce during a pillowfight increases the pillowfight's duration by 1 minute and has a chance to begin 'Sexytime' which is far too graphic to explain on this board.
Casting Bitchslap causes the combatants to fight more furiously, resorting to leglocks and other dirty maneuvers to subdue their enemies.

The base length of a catfight is based on the level of the skill and the LAWPQ, pillowfight has a shorter base length but if it is engaged through a catfight it adds the remaining catfight length to the base pillowfight length.

Maybe someone called immortal would be cool. I'm not sure how he would be but it sounds good just randomly. I'm thinking he'd be a mummy or dead dude, but that's up to anyone

I think Scathis is a pretty cool guy, eh kills dimegods and doesn't afraid of anything

-eh has the power to neither confirm nor deny the presence of your being covered in fire
50% chance to ignite someone on fire.

-eh has the power to neither confirm nor deny there is gravity
50% chance to make the enemy levitate, unable to move and can only be hit by air attacks

-eh has the power to neither confirm nor deny there is no spoon
50% chance all weapons and balls become inert

-eh has the power to neither confirm nor deny it's caturday
50% chance for all friendly feline units to be able to shoot lasers from their eyes are their primary means of attack