After the latest patch with the direct connect, i am able to join games within seconds and dont have any problems connecting to other people. I am on the beta version and apparently alot of other ppl are too, the custom game list was showing somewhere around 10 active games ready to be joined.
All you have to do is:
Router - Port forward, uncheck "block anonymous internet requests, disable router firewall
Firewall and anti virus - I turned them all off, not standbye.. they are closed
ImpulseReactorOptions - this is an exe in the bin folder, put in the same numbers as your router (port forward)
That is all i have done, so far zero disconnects and have even played with people with 250+ ping.