Without seeing ping spikes it's hard to say who is causing the lags (we would be able to tell, if we had access to ren_showNetworkStats). But even if you know who it is, it's hard to say why he lags, unless he has insufficient upload bandwidth.

well im fucking sick and tired of every game starting with 90 ms in lobby, you join and everybody has 7 or 8 sim speed and it STILL lags.

this game is fucking trash because it never works

1. we need to see average sim speed or something or other somehow in lobby, but thats not that big

the biggy is

2. We need to know if this person is going to lag

you give us a low ms and our sim speeds are 8+ but we STILL lag, all of the 5 games ive been in have been ruined completely by lag and have become completely unenjoyable.

before you hit start game, ask everyone to confirm they have over 1MB broadband
1MB download usually has 0.2MB upload, which is suitable for a max of 3v3 in my experience
anything over 1MB i imagine should run any number of players

hell put it in the game title