Shake, we still play Age of Wonders II here, but it's getting kind'a long in the tooth. Was kind'a disapointed with HoMM5 too. So Elemental looks like a game to finally fill that empty patch of fantasy TB strat games.
Defective, there are lots of nice people here, they are just busy having fun playing the game or ignoring most the flamer posts. But ya, there are also quite a few "not-nice" people here too.
The problem is, even though SD is going beyond the call of duty so far, as far as matchmaking, rankings, and a friends list, well, they are very lacking to say the least. So the best you can hope for at this time is to "friend" people who are nice to you on these forums, and also those who are nice in games, and then try your best (good luck with this) to get them into games with you online.
Since (at this time) you usually get groups of people playing each other with ALL sorts of skill ranges, from noob to pro, you get many people who rage quit, or cuss you out, or even make "Noobs Only games" with their pro friends to kick new people upside the head. Since this is such a very team oriented game, this can make people with anger issues, or "winning is all" issues really get pushed over the edge. There are even quite a few "Ping Princesses" who'll kick you out of the lobby if they even suspect your the evil culprit of a ping spike.
So just try to ignore the jerks/trolls/bad sports, friend the rest, and wait for 1.2. This might help you out also:
http://forums.demigodthegame.com/349958