Banned for im-Prin-ting him.

And it's really more of a Fabio-being-electrocuted hocky-hair-with-a-perm sort of deal. There's a reason why most electrical engineers don't work in the fashion industry.

Banned for thinking you invented the afro... 

Banned for perplexing flexing of the proverbial pouffy pompadorique crown. 

Banned for looking alarmingly like an Asian version of my mom.

banned for changing all the buttons around

banned for zipping around on her buttons

Banned for making me google and still having no idea. But, in about a month I will have a lake to sell you for one million tuppence.

banned for knocking Tupperware

Banned for knockers are always needed... I've been fascinated by them all my life.

Banned for buzzing the milkmaid... she thought she had bees down her top and took it off to let them out.

Banned for watching boobees collecting pollen and getting a buzz out of it... and just cos yer dad gave you the birds and bees talk, it don't mean you can have roll over honey and lettuce on top.

Banned for eavesdropping... like the voices inside my head have often complained about somebody listening in on their private conversations.

And let me ell you just how private they are. 

I'm not even allowed to listen, believe me. 

Before they get started they put cotton wool in my ears.

Banned because it's hard not to, what with the size 36 font and all.