After bitching and nagging at support i received answer
"We've been investigating this issue for the past few weeks and believe we've solved it internally. Assuming the fix holds up, it'll be released with the v1.21 update for Sins Trinity/Diplomacy in the near future."
So, with any luck anyone having massive lag issues, like ive been having, will have all their issues solved soon as the toss the patch out to us. If only we knew when how near 'near' is...