Captain Jack Sparrow Captain Jack Sparrow

G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

▼

G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

from Stardock Forums
Cringe in fear do gooders. The G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy alienS) empire is now formed. In less than an hour we have jumped 95 other Pacifist Doo Gooder victim empires and lept into 40th out of 135 ranked.

We are an evil empire bent on controlling everything and showing all the other empires out there who's boss. US. Are you listening Euro-"Oh lets let everyone be a senator and give em a vote doo gooder democracy alliance?" We come for you.

For a limited time, (untill I decide otherwise) 5 Pure Evil games, (or just impressing me with your game evilness) submitted will get you a Senatorship. Later, being the evil empire pyramid scheme we are, it will take 10. Of course, being the evil empire we are, that gives you no benefits, no pay, but all the alien carnage you crave most.

Now we do realize that sometimes, you just have to fake being good. You sometimes just have to infiltrate that pacifist party. We understand. But we aren't a kinder gentler empire and don't let their pacifism go to your head. And just sometimes, you gotta let the Aliens live (where else would you find slaves for the heavy metal lava mines?)

In the future, we shall update each other in the empire via this thread, brag of our conquests, drink blood wine, and generally just poke fun (creatively and humorously) at those players whom we find to be too goody goodyish.

Our mottos.

G.R.O.S.S. Where being good is merely a temporary strategy.

Just win baby.

Here's your ration of skin you do gooder wimp Drengin slime. Now get back to work

EBZeroMatrix you have been made a senator.

I repeat. Cringe in fear, we come for you.





66,383 views 3,706 replies
Reply #1501 from Stardock Forums Top
I... uh... I don't have time to... uh... well... thanks, Barry. :p

Shipmates! Here's what I have in mind (note this is a work in progress).

http://members.aol.com/piratelagoon/index.html

Please comment. :)
Reply #1502 from Stardock Forums Top
Insane? Maybe. Evil? Some of us are. Ruthless and misunderstood? Definitely. But we can be real interesting company.
CursorFX - Customize your Windows cursor
Reply #1503 from Stardock Forums Top
There are no better bucanneers to talk to in all of the Metaverse!

Kit...check out this:

http://www.iconbazaar.com/flags/animated/miscellaneous/
[Message Edited]
Reply #1504 from Stardock Forums Top
Now Pontius: bad workers blame their tools! Every game can't be a 20,000 bomb.
End of quote


Yes it can. This game was the same as any other EXCEPT I had the ai's to good the whole time and me to evil. Must be a glitch in the allignment bonus for the player going evil vs good ai's.
Reply #1506 from Stardock Forums Top
Your biweekly board report.

Big Board
1. Staffa
3. PbP
5. EBZero Matrix
37. Ice Mole
42. Cypher Pax
43. Sixtoes
56. Stealth Frequency
57. Kit Warrior
58. Black Smoke
70. Landrew

Good.
12. PbP
58. Stealth Frequency

Neutral
1. PbP
32. The D.
41. Cypher Pax
56. Six toes.

Evil (this is domination)
1. Staffa
2. EBZeroMatrix
5. PBP
9. Ice Mole
12. Sixtoes
14. KitWarrior
19. Cypher Pax
23. Black Smoke
24. Landrew
33. Stealth Frequency
68. Svalin
76. Craig Wilson.

Glad to see some new faces in these. Woooohoooo Keep up the good work everyone!!!!

Cue the Jaws theme, We're moving up.
Reply #1510 from Stardock Forums Top
Just click on your name hyperlink, Darth.

You have four.
Reply #1513 from Stardock Forums Top
See my new post in the forum. I got the same reason as you did.
Reply #1514 from Stardock Forums Top
Pontius I only have 4 evil games submitted but I was wondering if you would consider making me a senator anyways I do make good arcean ribs.
Reply #1515 from Stardock Forums Top
Gerakken,

If you get a chance, could you write something for the Pirate Lagoon webpage I'm working on? You're good with words and know more about the history of G.R.O.S.S. than me. Just something that encapsulates who we are, our history, and our connection with GalCiv and the Metaverse.

Barry,

Thanks for the link. It's given me some ideas... now if I can get my hands on a sophisticated graphics program...

Crew,

If you check this http://members.aol.com/piratelagoon/index.html you'll see that I'm updating it a couple of times a day. Lemme know what you'd like to see! :D

Cap'n,

Before we vote on whether we should have a webpage, can I have a few more days to work on this "concept" page?
Reply #1516 from Stardock Forums Top
I like it but you'll need people who have been here more than I to tell the history of G.R.O.S.S but I'll contribute what I can
Reply #1517 from Stardock Forums Top
Wombat could hardly take in all the happenings over the past few days. In orbit around Palain Seven comtemplating a ground mission, the discussions were suddenly interrupted by Hurley at the helm yelling out: "Hey guys...the ground's awful clo".

Then everything went black.

The blasted Yor had tracked the Avatar and fired a missile salvo, striking amidships. The brave Avatar fell to earth and burst apart like a ripe melon, spilling its contents over the frozen surface. The heroes were thrown clear, lost, each wandering alone over the inhospitable terrain. Wombat spent two days, shivering, eating ice and snow (pretending they were delicious honey-and-witchety-grub slurpees, not very successfully) until two remarkable things happened.

Stumbling into an ice cave seeking shelter, Wombat leaned up against the cave wall, only to discover that the wall was not ice, but a dark metallic substance that felt slightly warm to the touch, even in this frigid place. He used the little warmth to revive himself, and explored the wall further. It took another day, but the wall took shape: a spaceship, partly buried in the ice.

And what a ship! Wombat finally found an access hatch after digging away the slush at the base of the wall, and began exploring the amazing vessel. Wombat knew little of the Precursors, other than what he heard on the bush school radio lessons, but he could see this ship was radical in design. If only there was some way to release the ship from its frozen prison!

He was rejoicing at his good fortune, when the second remarkable thing happened.

Leaving the ship's access hatch the next morning, he was confronted by the presence of an immense starship hovering over him. Without needing to look at the insignia, he recognised it: the famous GROSS Survey Ship of Doom. He had crossed swords with this crew before; had tried in all manner of ways to effect their defeat with exploding sheep, drop bears, bananas-in-pyjamas, the Wiggles....to no avail. After all, wasn't it he who set the Doom's very engine and laser system to kill their mighty leader Pontius? That the darn thing malfunctioned and ended up carving 'Veteran' into the man's brow was....unexpected. And here, in his moment of triumph, they appeared to take their revenge, to collapse the small, perishingly cold little bubble of hope that Wild Wombat had blown for himself over the past couple of days.

The Doom settled to ground and the hatch opened. Wombat stood, simply hoping it would be quick and without humiliation, although he knew these particular pirates better than that. He took a deep sigh, drew himself up to his full 3ft6in height, and prepared himself - whatever happened, he would take it like a wombat. Even though he didn't quite know what that meant, he felt he should at least think it, 'cause it seemed an awfully brave thing to think at that particular time.

A shadow moved in the hatch. Expecting the snub nose of a laser rifle....Wombat saw a penguin flipper raised in welcome! Suddenly, Hurley and Drop Bear were racing across the ice towards him! The three met in an affectionate but extremely manly embrace in front of the partly buried Precursor ship. Wild Wombat then saw the spymaster, Gerakken, walking slowly towards the group, with Pontius, Kit and EBZM emerging from the hatch.

"Do they just want to kill us all together?" asked Wombat. Drop Bear and Hurley looked at each other, then back at Wombat. "Well, no...not right away anyway." said Drop Bear.

Hurley took Wombat's paw: "They have devised an incredible plan for universal domination. It is the culmination of years of planning and ruthless endeavour...it the most fiendish thing I have ever seen. It will insinuate itself through the entire Metaverse, fusing with the fabric of time and space, and deliver the complete and utter submission of those that stand against them."

Drop Bear took Wombat's other paw and looked straight into his eyes: "It is.....MARKETING. They're offering us a franchise! Trade marks, merchanising, copyrights, business plans, focus group survey results, the whole shebang! Usual terms, ten percent deposit, percentage of profits to the parent company, performance indicators, yadda, yadda, yadda - but what an opportunity! Bankrolled by a universal pirate organisation!!"

Wild Wombat sensed his friends excitement at this promising new business opportunity. "The problem is, I have...history...with some of them. Assassination attempts may be a little difficult to overlook, despite the favourable investment climate and positive economic indicators."

Hurley clapped him on the shoulder: "Mate, we've been through all that with them. It's results they're interested in...they don't mind who or how, they just want to dominate the Metaverse. I mean, they're our kind of people!"

Things moved swiftly from that point...teams of space lawyers drawing up contracts, signing ceremonies, PR gigs, launches....

...it was thus that Wombat found himself in deep space, on the bridge of the now salvaged Precursor ship, drifting alongside the Doom. Wombat had gone EVA to lovingly paint a new name on the vessels side: Winged Keelhaul.

He walked slowly through the great ship, wondering at it's marvels, to its precious core: the cool room. This was their fellow pirate's celebratory gift: corridors full of beer, of every type and description - Wombat simply wandered, looking, touching beers from all around the world. There was even a room beside this one filled with even stranger bottles. Drop Bear called this a 'cellar', although Wombat wasn't sure what those bottles were for. These pirates certainly knew how to live. He nearly tripped over Hurley, reclining in a deck chair, sipping a dry martini and reading his favourite book: Zen and the art of Lethal Violence.

They smiled knowingly at each other, both sensing that they were once again off on another fabulous adventure, to who knows where.....
Reply #1519 from Stardock Forums Top
Darth Bob, you shall become a senator. Just get in one more evil game Darth Bob (per Pontius), and you shall have senatorship ;)

On another note, any contact info. would be nice as well. You can find me on the IRC chat (you can access it though SDC). Or I use aim/aol, yahoo, and msn if you wish to contact me though any of those other chat mediums. E-mail can work fine too, but I really don't perfer using it, unless I have to.
[Message Edited]
Reply #1522 from Stardock Forums Top
And so Gerakken starts to write in the Book of GROSS page 62, now known by its modern name, Threadzilla.

KitWarrior, what kind of history would you like? The "just the facts" kind or a more liberal interpretation? If you want pure facts, then the Boss, EBZ, and CoffeeDragon would know more of that. I was not in GROSS in the earliest days and was not a party to certain private communications involving those parties, nor was I directly involved in the MWC merger talks (though I did instigate that process). I have mostly second hand stories about the first two weeks.
Reply #1523 from Stardock Forums Top
Good questions. Always making things more complicated. :p Bother. I have to mull over that one... unless some shipmate has the gumption to slash through the complexity and just write something... post it here and I'll take a gander. :)
Reply #1525 from Stardock Forums Top
Pontius blazed onto the Metaverse like an exploding supernova. This was in the days before Pontius became swee...um, mature. That's all you need to know.