There are many different ways to play each Demigod. I play Oak mostly, and his spirits are a BIG part of my DPS.
>"Is it all about minions and focussing on them?"
The minions are half of it, yes. It really helps to think of the minions as a seperate force from your demigod (a much more "expendable" force). If there is any dangerous work to be done, do not send your "very important do not die" demigod, you send the lackey squad. For example, when an enemy Demigod appears, it is your minions which get sent to wear him down as he comes in. And when that enemy demigod starts to flee and heads back into "dangerous territory", it is your minions that chase him down. Get used to using the following hotkeys to select who does what:
H = select demigod
M = select all minions
N = select everything
O = minions follow demigod
Most people do not notice minion damage, because it is "a lot of little numbers", which typically gets spread among multiple targets. But when you can focus all that scattered minion damage onto a single target, then there is no question what kind of impact minions have. As Oak, my spirits roughly double my damage output, including the effect from the Soul Power ability.
>"Do I have to buy minions upgrade at the citadel? (i.e. +atk, +armor and +hp)"
Nope. There are three kinds of "minions":
1) The "portal" minions, those are NOT affected by your skills/gear, and ARE affected by citadel upgrades.
2) Your "idol" minions (who follow you around), those are affected by your skills/gear (I am pretty sure), and are NOT affected by citadel upgrades.
3) Your "special" minions (who follow you around), those are affected by your skills/gear, and are NOT affected by citadel upgrades.
>"Should I start with Idols?"
I do not know what playstyle you prefer, but *I* start with Idols, every time. Specifically, I start with a monk idol, as a 10% heal can really help in the early game, and the 22 DPS at range each puts out really helps.
>"The minions that I summon through idols, to they give xp/gold to the enemy DG?"
I never noticed. Based on their mortality rates though, my idol minions do not die enough to give the enemy more experience than the dying enemy demigods give me.
>"Which DG has the best with minions?"
That all depends on what you consider "best" I suppose.
1) Erebus's minions do the most damage collectively, even though they look like goofy little bouncy-balls. And are generated "for free", as long as the god is nearby when something dies.
2) Oaks minions do second best damage collectively, plus can move FAST across the map. And are generated "real cheap", as long as the little flag is nearby when something dies.
3) Sedna and Queen minions do the most damage individually. Queen minions do ranged/AE damage, and Sedna minions are the most durable and do AE damage at the high end. And both can summon their minions "straight up".
I hope that helps...