The Publisher, Stardock, are well aware of the issues plaguing Demigod and I can only assume Gas Powered Games, the developer, as just as aware. The Publisher are doing their best to ensure all of the networking is in place on their end so that we can connect as easily as possible and I can only assume Gas Powered Games are doing their best to ensure all of the network code in Demigod itself is bullet proof.
I think the reason why we don't have many 'offical answers' is because they're still working on them.